[ He should probably be less short with Alucard - he genuinely is doing his best to make this not suck. But even after three years of it, letting Alucard patch him up is still- just a little fraught. A mess of not having a lot of patience for the parts of this that he doesn't understand, of not liking that stupid worried look, of still not quite being worth this much effort. And also it fucking hurts. There's also that. ]
no subject
[ He should probably be less short with Alucard - he genuinely is doing his best to make this not suck. But even after three years of it, letting Alucard patch him up is still- just a little fraught. A mess of not having a lot of patience for the parts of this that he doesn't understand, of not liking that stupid worried look, of still not quite being worth this much effort. And also it fucking hurts. There's also that. ]